Howard kicked off today's Celebrity Impression Contest with Rachel Butera, the reigning champion, who performed as Rosie O'Donnell: "If I was with Beth, I would blow up like Precious. Because I would eat her. I would eat her p***y like a butterscotch sundae." After Rachel breezed through Whoopi Goldberg, Wanda Sykes, Cyndi Lauper and Sandra Bernhard, Howard laughed: "Do you do all lesbian women?" Ben Campbell, the second contestant, did a dead-on President Obama: "Americans are in trouble. But if I am lucky enough to be re-elected, I want to build a bridge. A bridge to the future. A bridge that all Americans can jump off or sleep under." Ben-as-Obama also lamented our nation's unemployment rate: "This is a number that we can get way down...if Americans will just stop looking for work." The third contestant, Jay Tesoro, did a decent Norm MacDonald--and made up for any faults with a keen take on Ronnie the Limo Driver's idiotic behavior: "His name is 'Limo Driver.' It's not Ronnie the Librarian. It's not Ronnie the Nobel Laureate."