Matt, the first of Howard's hired gropers, said he was a 28-year-old virgin: "No real reason, really. Just not a lot of opportunities." He described his plan to grope Alexis as much as he can in the time allotted: "My plan was to go frontside, backside, reach-around." Ron, the second contestant, said he'd once given Alexis a ride in his cab--she'd turned down his advances: "She was like, 'Why don't you follow me on Twitter and we'll see what happens.'" Kevin, the third contestant, estimated his height and weight at 6'6" and 360lbs: "I used to bounce at a strip club.") and was very familiar with Alexis: "I was at her birthday party a couple weeks ago. … She is, first, stunningly beautiful. Not only that, she's very nice to all of her fans."
Howard then began the contest: "Every question you get right, you get a plug. For every question you get wrong, you get groped by one of these animals." 1. What star is the closest star to Earth? Alexis guessed the North Star (not the Sun), so Kevin grabbed at her boobs, ass--and boobs again: "Very nice!" 2. What game has 18 holes? Alexis knew it was golf, earning her a plug for her latest film, 'Alexis Ford: Darkside', which contains her first anal scene and first "blow-bang", a harrowing scenario: "It's 5 guys and they all blow their load on my face." 3. Spell 'question'. Alexis nailed it, so Howard plugged her upcoming "feature dance" appearance in North Dakota. 4. What is venison? Alexis guessed incorrectly ("A city?") so Matt, the virgin, did his best.
Alexis laughed: "Definitely felt like he was doing the Heimlich on me. You can tell he's a virgin. Like, scared a little bit." 5. "It was the best of times, it was ___." Alexis blew it ("Good times?") as Ron zeroed in like any creepy cabbie might: "Anything goes, right?" 6. What is a periodical? Alexis tried her best ("Like a period cycle?"), granting Kevin, her biggest fan, another turn: "Thank you, Alexis." 7. What does FDA stand for? Alexis was close ("Federal Drug Administration?") but not enough for Howard to stop a 3-on-1 grope session: "Alright, everyone get in on it."