Lisa Lampanelli stopped by to promote her new film, 'Not Fade Away,' and shocked Howard with her new slim figure: "Somebody stuck a pin in Lisa Lampanelli!" Lisa laughed that she'd lost 80lbs since her gastric sleeve surgery: "It feels so much better, dude. … I feel like my normal self. I used to be thin." Lisa said her husband, Jimmy Big Balls, had undergone the same procedure 8 weeks later, and has since lost 60lbs. Lisa said her work wasn't over: "I'm still fat by Hollywood standards. I'm a size 10. Even though Marilyn Monroe was that size, I'm a fat c**t." And to this day, her shrunken stomach takes forever to generate a decent turd: "It's like giving birth. It takes 2 or 3 days to fire up a good one." Unsurprisingly, the weight loss has improved her sex life: "Stomachs get in the way. Now Jimmy can get it in the right hole the first time."
Lisa Has Hulk Issues
Asked about her recent experience on 'Celebrity Apprentice', Lisa immediately lit into fellow contestant Lou Ferrigno: "I don't even think he's deaf. I just think his ears are stupider than the rest of him." At the cast reunion, Lisa had few friends: "I said hi to Penn Jillette, I said hi to Adam Carolla--and Aubrey O'Day. The rest of them can all f***ing die." Lou, for instance, is about "as useful as a tampon at Betty White's house."