The Howard 100 News learned yesterday that JD Harmeyer wears two pairs of socks with his dress shoes – a thin black dress sock over a white athletic sock – because "nice" shoes hurt his feet. Since he is taking Howard's wife out tonight, Howard counseled JD, telling him to learn his actual shoe size and find a shoe that fits properly.
JD is 34 years old.
Of course, the reason you're really here is for a daily update on JD's spoon collection.
Wolfie went down to something called a Spoon Convention and asked questions about JD directly to his own people.
Most were supportive and encouraging of the youngish spoon-enthusiast, suggesting he attend conventions to learn about his passion.
"I DON'T WANT SPOONS!" - JD HARMEYER
One snarky spoon bully openly mocked JD's treasured "Apple Barn" spoon, saying it fell under the category that he calls "Airport Spoons" and is probably worth about $5.
While balls deep in spoon nerds, Wolfie generously purchased JD a beautiful T-shirt that says "SPOONER" right across the chest – Spooner is what the closely-knit community calls themselves, similar to "Brony" or "Belieber."
Humbly trying to deny that he is single-handedly revitalizing an entire utensil craze, he stated, "I'm not bringing spoon collecting back and I wouldn't wear the shirt anyway."
Howard begged him to wear the shirt, if only for a goof. JD responded that his whole life is a goof.
He said very clearly: "I don't want spoons!"
He later apologized to his spoon message board for his harsh tone.