Let's get one thing straight right off the top - whatever you accuse Eric the Actor of, whatever name you call him, whatever made up wild tale you attatch his name to - he will rrespond in full on Twitter.
So now, for the 3rd time, Eric (who many here consider the Greatest Tweeter of All Time) called up the morning and announced that he is pulling his weird hands away from the keyboard and hanging up his crown.
He can't take the heat from his haters anymore, so he'll only use the social media site to direct message with people he follows.
In honor of a retiring legend, Howard read through some of Eric's best come-backs on the site:
* SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU DUMB F*CK I HAVE NEVER F*CKING BEEN TO BORA BORA AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN ZIP-LINING. GO TO HELL.
* I do NOT want to make love to Charlie Sheen jack ass. I only want to text him or have lunch. I can relate to all the media slander.
* You miserable ASS! I don't have to look out for gravy cuz I do NOT look like a Thanksgiving Turkey so STFU! I'm reporting you to twitter
* Shut the f*ck up. I have never been to New Orleans and I never been in a damn parade. Go to hell.
* F*ck off you dumb f*ck. I am not f*cking gay, I am not a prostitute and I am not getting f*cking married.
* DUMB-F*CK I HAVE NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON MY F*CKING TAXES. GO F*CK YOURSELF AND GO TO HELL F*CK-HEAD.
* YOU ARE SO COMPLETELY F*CKING PATHETIC AND TOTALLY STUPID AS HELL YOU CLUELESS F*CK. THE BUNNY RANCH BABES CAN NOT DO ONE SEX ACT WITHOUT CONDOMS. SO NO CUM GOES IN THEIR MOUTHS OR C*NTS YOU DUMB-F*CK.
Eric denied that some of the Tweets were written by him, but, let us assure you, they were.
In a statement reminiscent of Ringo Starr's famous Peace and Love message, Eric thanked the people who would Tweet nice things to him in advance, but said he was no longer replying to anything.