At the top of the show today a pot-stirrer called in to say that he saw Howard's beautiful wife Beth and their friend Whitney Cummings at a Knicks game and Whitney supposedly licked the face of some guy.
Howard didn't know anything about the licking, but he knew Beth and Whitney went to the game, and he was completely miserable that he couldn't go.
Howard had work to do and scheduling to figure out, noting that, like his father always said, "Sucker pays," and he had to work to pay the bills while Beth got to enjoy the game with Whitney.
The silver lining was that Howard was able to shit freely once Beth left the apartment. In fact, Howard felt so free on the pot that he ended up acting out scenes from Boardwalk Empire where he played his favorite character Dr. Narcisse.
Even at his high highest moment, though, some paranoia creeped in and he began to worry that Beth would return and hear him talking like a lunatic, alone, on the can.
As Beth and Whitney enjoyed dinner after the game, Howard retired to bed, lying awake and wrestling with his own bladder and he kept having to pee.
King of All Blacks - who has a very different view of women and relationships than Howard - called up and asked him how he could let his wife go out and have a good time. Howard isn't interested in controlling anybody, but King said he actually gets off on the look on his wife's face when he tells her "no."
Howard laid out his philosophy that he's happy when his wife is happy.
Then, of course, King's phone got so terrible that Howard had to hang up.