JANICE DICKINSON, FACE CRITIC
This morning, Howard played tape of self-proclaimed Supermodel Janice Dickinson's internet show (whatever that means). In it, she says she'd definitely have sex with Jay Leno* over Howard because "Jay has more money."
Is she implying she's a prostitute Howard wondered?
Janice went on to say that Howard is Jewish, "and we love that," but she wouldn't bang him because of his face. Howard had no idea what that Jewish comment meant, but was fairly sure it had anti-Semitic overtones.
Howard had an idea where all this anger was coming from with Janice.
There was a night, back in Howard's single days, when he walked into a party and Janice was at the bar. Janice tried to keep a conversation going with Howard and freaked out when Howard tried to leave.
My penis, Howard said, for the first time ever, was telling me to go home alone and watch TV.
This still doesn't answer why Janice stopped to point out that Howard is Jewish before bashing his looks.
*She actually called him "Dave Leno" which we can only assume is a hybrid of David Letterman and Jay Leno.