THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR – UNDERDOG AND LISA G ARE HERE!
SHULI AND UNDERDOG
Howard played some steamy phone conversations with Underdog this morning, one where she flirted with Shuli, saying she wished he could come over and cuddle with her.
Then we heard an absolutely heartbreaking conversation about how Underdog's church choir denied her a solo decades ago, saying 'no one voice deserves to be heard above the others.'
Then, years later, they gave a solo to another woman. This has haunted Underdog her whole life and she still yearns to sing out, as we heard in her stirring rendition of the classic "Miss Crustacean Parade Theme."
SHULI AND LISA G
Shuli then played us new secret tape of Lisa G (who loves Howard instead of Shuli, and is a member of a chamber orchestra instead of a church choir).
Shuli hid a microphone somewhere in the news room and is able to record Lisa in her natural habitat.
Lisa offered her thoughts – to no one in particular – on the recent train derailments (they need to fix the tracks!), the fact that they still punch holes in train tickets (can you believe it?) and the Barbra Streisand PBS special she watched over the weekend.
Bulldog reporter Jon Leiberman, who sits by Lisa, tries to be polite, but he can't think of anything to respond to her inane monologues.
When asked if it bothers her that people are annoyed by her, the Queen of Sass (the woman who lives by the phrase "Love me or hate me … Just don't like me!") came in and said: No, actually, it doesn't bother her at all.
What set Lisa off talking this morning was her terrific idea that Howard take a "selfie" like Kim Kardashian. She was so excited that she could hardly contain herself.
"Leiberman," Howard said, " is shoving staplers in his ears."