Comedian April Macie was the winner of our 2008 Hottest Funniest Chick Contest, and her career has skyrocketed as a result. Only a title like that can get you a gig hosting the 2013 AVN Awards for Showtime in five years. You're Welcome, April. But April also stopped by to share some wild stories from her life with us, like:
BEATING WHITNEY CUMMINGS
The runner up to April Macie in the Hottest Funniest Chick Contest was none other than comedian and Stern Show regular Whitney Cummings. Regarding her former rival's success on television, April claimed that, whenever a female comic succeeds, it's good for every female comic. But a small part of her had to also admit she was happy that Whitney's eponymous sitcom just got cancelled, although Whitney's other show, Two Broke Girls, lives on.
April admits that while she won the contest, Whitney Cummings is the one winning in life.
NOT EATING LANCE ARMSTRONG'S ASS
April had a friend who was very promiscuous and once, at a party, April opened the bathroom door and supposedly... allegedly... according to April here... walked in on her friend eating the world's most famous cyclist's asshole. Lance Armstrong was bent over the bathtub with April's friend's head buried between his cheeks. Allegedly.
April also claims that Armstrong generously offered her the opportunity to feast on his ass next, but she politely declined. "A man's asshole is a dangerous place."
THE GREAT MASTURBATION RACE
Most college students are poor, but only a select few are hot enough to masturbate for food. April was one of these beauties, gifted with able to get free meals by masturbating with a male friend of hers; they'd get on the guy's bunk bed and see who could get off first. April always managed to "win" (though sometimes she just claimed to orgasm in order to get the free meal).
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
April also offered up these gems:
- April claimed her mom was the town whore, and that her boob popped out of her tube top at April's 3rd grade parent-teacher conference.
- April's high school boyfriend started a rumor that he had anal sex with April and she sh*t all over the couch, earning her the nickname "Sh*tty."
- April dated comedian and former Stern Show intern Mitch Fatel.
- Claims actor Jeremy Piven once hit on her with the pick-up line "Did you notice me gazing upon you?"
- April has no interest in auditioning for Saturday Night Live.
- While performing at the actual Guantanamo Bay, April noticed signs in the bathroom kindly reminding the men to stop raping. That's nice,
For more pics of April check out this photo gallery!