The rivalry between Stern Show producer Gary Dell'Abate and stockbroker-turned-writer Sal Governale goes back decades. Sal has routinely taunted Gary... in front of millions of listeners on the phone... in song... and with the Baba Booey mask.
But perhaps his greatest victory came today, when Howard opened the sealed envelope containing the answer to the question: "Who would Mary Dell'Abate most like to have sex with on the staff?"
Her answer? Her husband's nemesis himself: Sal Governale.* (Howard's take: "With those cap teeth [Sal], you're starting to look like Gary a little bit.")
Mary also cited media producer JD Harmeyer as the person she'd least like to make love to. Gary says that, while Mary likes JD a lot, she just doesn't like the way he talks about women. However, Sal then astutely pointed out that he likes to pee on women, so that must be a bullshit reason, since Mary still picked him.
So how was JD holding up with all these girls saying he's the last person on the staff they'd want to screw? He seemed okay with it, even admitting that he's not very personable.
Then Gary piled it on, by noting that JD has lost just about every single F, Marry, Kill ever played on the Intern Show, to which Howard responded that he doesn't actually consider JD the worst looking guy on staff; he's not the best looking, obviously, but he's definitely not the worst. Howard then suggested JD lose some weight, but JD pointed out that even Jason (or 'Fat Jason' as he's known to some) gets picked over him. In fact, Mary Dell'Abate would apparently rather go to bed with the likes of Scott the Engineer, Gange, Jason Kaplan, or Benjy, who're all big guys.
So it's not that JD is fat; it's that he's fat and also doesn't have a great personality. At that point, Howard stopped the conversation because he started to feel too bad for JD.
*Long time fans of the show may remember that Mary also had a soft spot for prior Gary nemesis "Stuttering John," often laughing along when John would make fun of Gary. Maybe she just digs the bad boys (or doesn't actually like Gary).