The following is Howard 100 News reporter Jon Leiberman's hard-hitting expose on Stern Show writer Sal Governable.
Sal's Sex Life
When asked what his favorite sexual position is, Sal said he'd like to "push his penis through his thighs so that his wife, Christine, can blow him from behind." Howard then correctly pointed out A) that can't be Sal's favorite position because he hasn't actually done it yet and B) it's gross and weird.
The Governale's pretty much only do it missionary these days, but they used to be into doggystyle when they were younger. When it comes to frequency, the couple make love about once per month, which Sal says he's fine with that. Sal does get the feeling that Christine just wants to "get it over with" when it happens though.
Sal's "golden showers" fetish doesn't extend to Christine because she's the mother of his children.
If Sal plays with Christine's nipples, he will get hard for her right away, but sometimes it's hard to maintain the erection. He was unable to complete the act just recently, which Christine blamed one of Sal's medications for. (Maybe generic hair growth medicine from India wasn't a great idea.)
THE DE-MASCULATION OF SAL
Christine recently turned their bedroom into a creepy, sterile, all white den of discomfort. Sal doesn't like it all, and yet the discomfort endures.
Christine took away Sal's Man Cave, claiming it needed to become a playroom for the boys. Sal protested by forcefully making the both accurate and reasonable claim that literally every other room in the house was already filled with toys... and let Christine have her way anyway.
Christine appears to have some mild OCD, once even stripping and decontaminating the bed after Sal took the garbage out and then got back into bed wearing the same sweatpants that may have brushed up against the garbage pale.
All of this sounds really horrible... until you remember just how much Sal contributes to his own misery. Maybe his wife isn't thrilled him or valuing his input for any or all of the following reasons:
Sal routinely embarrasses Christine at parties and other public gatherings, once even unplugging the TV right before the ball dropped on New Years Eve at a friends party.
He insulted a frizzy-haired dog-groomer by asking who grooms her.
He famously announced that he was a Jew For Jesus at a Seder.
He used to play a game where he'd ask a woman to bend over and look at a cracked tile... before pulling out his penis and holding it over her so she'd hit it on her way back up.
Marriage According to Sal
Sal eventually wrapped his whole philosophy on marriage up by saying that when you read about a murder-suicide in the paper (i.e. when a man shoots his wife and then himself) it's because the husband just kept arguing and arguing with his wife, instead of just saying "okay, honey."
That's right: Sal's key to a happy marriage is LESS communication.