Howard wondered who among us had tried Wendys' new pretzel burger? He went fatso by fatso, but neiher Jason, nor Jon Hein, nor JD Harmeyer had tried it.
The only person who sampled the new burger was Howard TV director Scott DePace (he liked it, and washed it down with a conservative small Frostee).
Deflecting criticism of his own weight gain, Gary Dell'Abate said he was admiring a new photo in the compound – JD about 30 lbs ago. Howard noted that the JD has gained a lot of weight. JD admitted that he porked up about three years ago, but has maintained his flabby physique, and now is kinda, sorta, I don't know, trying to slim down though.
(Check out our new gallery: Our Fat Staff - the staff's skinniest, and fattest pictures!)
In a rare moment of levity, Howard told JD to live it up, who cares, you're gonna die anyway.
Gary warned Howard: "If you talk about dying, he starts to cry." JD knows he's gonna die, he just doesn't want to think about it.
"If you're so afraid of death, why don't you lose some weight?" Howard wondered.
JD clammed up a little, but tried to play it cool ("cool" being a relative term) and not let his emotions get the better of him.
"Do you have a will?" Howard prodded.
"Well, who gets your Spelling Bee trophies?"*
Howard offered to take them off his hands and keep them as mementos in the event that he has to bury his own (proxy) son.
In what little could be gotten out of him, JD revealed that he does believe in heaven, but he's disturbed by the empty nothingness of everything being over.
Then, freaked out, JD asked not to talk about it anymore and left the studio.
(* In perhaps the most astonishing admission ever made on the show, JD said in a hypothetical situation he would not part with his 5th Grade Spelling Bee Trophies to sleep with porn star Lisa Ann. We wonder exactly where he sticks that trophy at night...)