A very elegant and beautiful purple-haired woman stopped by the show this morning, and just as Howard was starting to feel aroused, the lady revealed herself to be longtime friend of the show Richard Simmons! He fooled us again...
richard the bachelor
Like George Clooney, Simmons decided a long time ago not to tie himself down to any woman. Instead, he prefers to think that he's in a relationship with "the whole world."
He was overweight and bullied as a child – he claimed that other kids would even squirt lighter fluid under the bathroom stall and try to light Richard on fire – but he triumphed, making ladies swoon as a "chubby model" before slimming down and keeping the weight off.
Richard admitted that the masculine insecurity that affects many men has affected him as well and he does wear hair plugs. In his words, he looked like "[Little Orphan] Annie after a fire!!!" so he opted for the procedure to maintain his virile Afro. Richard channeled this experience and used it to craft his smash hit single "Hair Do."
But in most ways, Richard is a secure man, and doesn't shy away from talking about his doll collection (over 2,200 dolls) and his collection of his signature flammable dolphin shorts (over 1000).
Like any true gentleman, Richard doesn't talk politics, thought he admits that he considers the new pope "fabulous."
As is typical with Richard's brand of locker room-style hijinks and humor, he tried to get close to Howard and touch him. Howard resisted, but Richard kept begging for a kiss, begging for Howard to say something romantic to him.
Instead, Sal Governale came in and kissed Richard, even taking out his penis and displaying it for the exercise guru. Richard asked if he was looking at "Thumbelina," mocking Sal's manhood openly.
richard the do-gooder
Richard just got back from San Paulo Brazil where he was busy digging a well at an orphanage. While not busy with major construction, Richard helps give overweight people hope, making thirty to forty calls a day to people who are so large that they're housebound.
Lately, he's turned to designing jewelry, which he used to do for his mother, as a way to inspire people and give them hope. No matter how unattractive you may be, you are good enough for a piece of Sparkle by Richard Simmons jewelry.
Richard blames his crying jags – he cries everywhere, even on Jewelry TV – on the fact that his life is filled with so much emotion.
But, for perhaps the first time ever, Richard didn't cry or storm out of the studio.