Wack Packer Mark the Bagger stopped by this morning to promote his smash hit new fragrance Bagger No. 7, promising that "it smells awesome!"
(For those who don't know, Mark the Bagger is named so because he was discovered by members of the band The Bloodhound Gang when he worked in a supermarket bagging groceries. His unique voice and personality have made him a great addition to the Wack Pack)
Mark is something of a fragrance snob, previously only spraying himself with his signature Bon Jovi cologne. One day he felt that he had to create a brand new fragrance, one that was worthy of bearing his name: Bagger, with the genius tagline "Bag Her … with Bagger No. 7." (Incidentally, 7 is Mark's special lucky number)
Speaking of bagging her, Mark announced that he is engaged to his lovely girlfriend after proposing in his bedroom last Halloween. They plan to get married in two years, which is perfect because Mark always aspired to be a married man by forty. Things are really lining up for him now.
Aside from the fragrance, and the fiancé, he's got a job in the employee cafeteria at a casino, making him, we believe, the only cafeteria worker to have their own scent on the market.
He and his woman are so in love, so passionate about each other, that Mark regularly finishes on her face, often apologizing and thanking her for the privilege, and helping wipe her down.
When he isn't making love to his lady, he watches porn – girl on girl and guys finishing on girls are his favorites to stroke his ten inch (that's right) penis to.
One thing Mark wanted to make clear was that is not okay with homosexuality at all - mostly. He's fine with it if it's funny – like Howard kissing Howie Mandell on America's Got Talent – but he's not into anything like that himself. He claims he hasn't even tried to pleasure himself orally, because he considers it a gay act.
Mark is also against two guys getting married but seemed to soften his position when it came to two women getting married.
Howard has always been very pro gay-rights, but he didn't let the differences between Mark and himself stand in the way of promoting the scent of fall: Bagger No. 7.