Eric the Actor Regrets Missing the Birthday Bash

Eric the Actor has to miss out on the opulent, star-studded Birthday Bash last month. He pointed his finger at us for failing to get him out to the show, though that was 100% false.

The bottom line is Eric didn't get it together and he deeply regrets his lazy attitude. Of course, he won't give you the satisfaction of admitting that.

He tried to play it cool and pretend that being at the Bash in person was not a big deal to the little midget.

Howard wanted to rub it in a little, but Eric said he simply didn't care, he was content to sit in his power chair and listen on his radio.

Besides, he said, 'Wack Packers' (the quotes are Eric's because he still thinks he doesn't qualify as a Wack Packer) weren't even mingling with the A list celebrities at the event. And mingling with celebrities is very important to Eric.

Howard pointed out that another (better) Erik – High Pitch Erik – was photographed practically 'in coitus' with supermodel Heidi Klum. Plus, Eric the Actor 'is a guy who cums in his pants to meet a third rate wrestler' so he would've been happier than a little pot-bellied pig in shit to be sitting there with Robert Downey Jr. and Steven Tyler.

High Pitch Erik seemingly lunging at Heidi Klum at the Birthday Bash

As Howard was waxing poetic about Eric's 'baby c*ck' being hard as he gazed up at all the celebrities, he was reminded of the genius Sal and Richard prank phone call when 'Carrie Underwood' called Eric at home.

Eric was 100% fooled by the call as 'Carrie' admitted to wanted to bed the midget – 'Take off that diaper and jab me with that shrinky dink' - and asked him to rub his 'Smurf c*ck' against the phone.

In the call, Eric rubbed and rubbed and told Carrie how much he wanted to go on a date and have sex with her.

Eric wanted it to be true so badly that he convinced himself it was, just like he's trying to convince himself that he isn't devastated that he missed the biggest party in show history.