Actor and comedian David Spade, frequent Stern Show guest, stopped by just after James Franco – and admitted that he would've just gone long with James and skipped himself.
But, he's far too modest. David went through some of his new stand-up material and told some great showbiz stories.
And who knows, maybe David actually did bang Lindsay Lohan.
Here are the highlights from David's interview:
David was into cocaine at one point, but his body wasn't as big a fan of it. He once did way too much while staying at a friend's mom's house in Milwaukee and ended up wide awake all night. Finally, he felt like something bad was happening, so he convinced his buddy to drive him to the hospital. 'My blood pressure was like five million over six trillion.' They ended up sitting in the car in the parking lot until the sun came up. The heat was blasting and his buddy just let him talk and talk. What fun! David swore to himself that he'd never do coke again. 'But two days later …'
Another big fan of cocaine (and a fan David's) was his late buddy Chris Farley. David is full of great Farley stories and today's gem was as good as any. He said he once went to Vegas strip club with the funnyman and Chris paid the worst stripper there to give David ten lap dances. As David sat there uncomfortably, she hobbled around and danced for him. David hated it at the time, but it was such a good burn that he's uses it frequently on his other friends.
David feels that he didn't get a lot of sketches on Saturday Night Live because Al Franken didn't like him. Another writer, Robert Smigel, told David that Al didn't like him, but Al never told David himself. Still, David does make an appearance in the Best of SNL collection thanks to his performance in Chris Farley's Motivational Speaker sketch.
David has a show in development at HBO about a music manager who is past his prime. It's an odd time for David because he hasn't really been off TV since he started on Saturday Night Live, but his show Rules of Engagement ended last year after seven season - he may go through all of 2014 without appearing in a sitcom.
So, David decided to put together his first stand-up special in ten years. Howard was doing some research and came across some David jokes that he really loved. One particularly great premise was centered around a loft bed with a landlord telling David 'I don't want more than 500 lbs up there.' David's response was 'Trust me, I don't want more than 500 pounds up there either.'
David is a funny dude and always a great guest. Don't miss his stand-up special 'My Fake Problems'.
I can't get out of the car, David Spade is killing it on @sternshow
— John (@carldehn) April 30, 2014
— Gabriel420 (@Karloff73) April 30, 2014