Dr. Harry Fisch Checks Health of the Stern Show Staff

The doctor declares several of Howard's staff are obese

Dr. Harry Fisch claims it's the only show in the country deals with men's health, and we have no evidence to the contrary, so we'll back him up on that.

Dr. Fisch wanted to measure our staff, using a simple formula, to discover just how obese everyone was. He said that your waist measurement should be exactly half your height; any inch over that number meant you were five lbs overweight.

Jason Kaplan was first up. He's 5'10", so his waist should measure thirty-five inches. Dr. Fisch got out the measuring tape and wrapped and wrapped and wrapped the tape around Jason: he measured in at forty-five inches, meaning Jason is fifty lbs over his ideal weight. Since Jason weighed in at 290 lbs earlier in the show, fifty seems like a bargain. (Editor's Note: I agree!)

Jason acknowledged that he needed to lose weight, but countered that his blood pressure was very good. Dr. Fisch rejoiced in this, saying that Jason can die with great blood pressure.

JD was next and he's 5'9". He ought to be about 35 inches as well, but he measured in sat 39, making him 20 lbs overweight.

TV and Fast Food expert Jon Hein is a full 6'2" tall, so he got a little more leeway, he should measure in at 37 inches. Jon was only one inch high, so, according to Dr. Fisch, he's only five lbs overweight. Jon Hein is downright skinny. In fact, if he's only got five lbs extra on him, he might be the most 'in shape' person on our staff.

Benjy Bronk is 5'8" (probably more like 5'5") and measured in at forty-two inches around, putting him at forty lbs too high. Benjy promised to go on a diet starting right this minute, and promises to get rock star skinny quickly.

Sal and Richard came in to see the good doctor too. Richard wanted to know what he could eat to make his 'load' bigger, and Sal basically just wanted to whip his c*ck out. He wanted to show the doctor his outrageous 'dick lips' and the doctor was understandably taken aback.

Gary said it might have something to do with the fact that he had to keep his 'load' sealed up in his pouch because his wife doesn't want his to make a mess.'

Dr. Fisch wasn't sure exactly what caused the unsightly protrusion, but he was spooked by it for sure.

Check out Dr. Fisch's new book 'The New Naked' and his new penis desensitizing wipes (the doctor claims that premature ejaculation is the number one sexual problem for men in the U.S.)