Ronald Norman Mund, Howard's longtime limo driver is the number one go-to expert if you have questions about strip club etiquette. With that in mind, we asked him to share some of his strip club tips with our audience. Naturally, Ronnie did not disappoint.
Here are Ronnie's Strip Club Tips:
Always wear black so you won't get a 'silver dollar' on your pants – it's when you cum in your drawers and it shows through. (Ronnie thinks he coined that phrase, but the Internet thinks otherwise)
If a fat ugly stripper approaches you say 'I just got here, I'm with my friends, can you come back later?' The important thing is to not be a dick.
Put your boner 'right up her ass when she sits on it, pal'! (which sounds sort of like rape, which we do NOT advocate)
If you smell dirty ass, you live with it, you take the dance. Afterward, approach the manager and say 'Dude…one of your girls has got shit in her ass'.
How do you prolong a lap dance? You throw a girls hair past her shoulder and give her a massage.
If you need to get glitter off your clothing, see the club's bathroom attendant. He should have a 'doohickey' that is usually used to remove lint from clothing. In this case, it's used for glitter. Don't forget to tip!