Beetlejuice: The Facts

True claims for the Wack Pack's Lester Green

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

The greatest Wack Packer of all time, Lester 'Beetlejuice' Green stopped by this morning, topping himself yet again and delivering the NEW greatest interview in Stern Show history.

Here are the totally true facts about Beet's legendary life:

He spends his time drinking (½ beer and ½ vodka) and watching black cowboy movies at his mother's house.

He works out regularly – lifting between 25 lbs and 125 lbs.

He will live forever.

He's an insomniac who does not sleep much.

He was making love to two women when he got the news that he was named King of the Wack Pack. Actually, he was having sex with one girl while the other girl blew him (which seems impossible, but nothing is off limits with Beetlejuice).

Beetlejuice falls in love exactly twice a week.

And, for the big reveal: Beetlejuice has a son! An enormous gay white guy walked in studio and claimed that Beetlejuice was his father and the Beet fessed up to it. They certainly do look alike.