On Wednesday Howard gave a selection of staff and Wack Pack members 60 uninterrupted seconds on air each to speak about whatever they were passionate about – and in the end Benjy Bronk even got a second minute to plead his case to return to the studio after being exiled to the back office as punishment for his late morning arrivals.
Hear highlights of the speeches (below).
Mariann from Brooklyn
While Benjy Bronk was the first speaker of the day, he initially misunderstood the stakes of what was at hand and spent his minute advocating for Americans to vote for Donald Trump. This surprised Howard and Robin, who expected a speech advocating for why he should be brought back into the studio.
Unfortunately for Benjy, Mariann from Brooklyn was ready with a rapid fire takedown of the Stern Show staffer and multiple reasons why she thought he shouldn't be allowed back into the studio.
While his first 60 seconds may have been a bit of a dud, Benjy Bronk came out more focused in his second outing after Howard allowed him to be the only two-minute speaker. Things began to devolve halfway through, though, and Howard, Robin, and Fred became distracted by his disheveled appearance and "creepy" stare.
The typically marble-mouthed JD Harmeyer broke into a number of giggle fits throughout his minute-long speech on everything from Hillary Clinton to California's Proposition 60, which would require the use of condoms in porn, to whether or not Howard watched Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Commando" over the weekend.
In the end, Howard was exhausted. "That was like the longest minute of my life," he said, noting he had not in fact watched "Commando" yet but had rented it and intends to watch it soon.
Fred the Elephant Boy
Fred the Elephant Boy's speech was decidedly election-themed and, after a somewhat coherent start, the Wack Packer ran into trouble three-quarters of the way in. "I'm thinking and nothing is coming out," he groaned. "Oh boy."
Jeff the Drunk
After hanging up once in order to avoid an interruption by The Lump — "I had the Lump removed!" — Jeff the Drunk unsurprisingly took 60 seconds to tell voters to legalize marijuana. "Doritos stock would go skyrocket," he argued before ending his speech early to "take a hit," which sent him into a fit of coughing.
Even High Pitch Erik, ever the image of health, proceeded to advise Jeff to stop smoking.
Tan Mom, who phoned in nude after a shower, gave possibly the most bizarre speech of the morning, forcing Howard to break form. Six seconds of silence ticked away before Tan Mom even uttered a word: "There's my comment," she began, before again going silent.
Baffled, Howard again told her to "go" after 11 seconds had elapsed.
"No, there's my comment. I have nothing to say," she responded. The silence provoked even more commentary from the clearly perturbed Wack Packer, though, as she continued with some fiery condemnation. And just as it began, Tan Mom's speech ended with deafening silence.
In the final speech of the morning, Sal Governale wanted to talk about a serious issue he considered when picking a presidential candidate.
"In the Constitution we have an amendment that says that we the right to privacy," he said. "Private conversations should be private … that's what the constitution says."
Sal reasoned "liberals" broke the laws of the Constitution in the course of the election cycle and said he, for one, would not stand for it.