While playing the new Tan Mom Sex Terms Game on Wednesday’s Stern Show, the word “blumpkin” came up which led Howard and Robin to wonder if anyone in the world had actually ever experienced one. For those not in the know, a blumpkin involves a man being orally serviced while on the toilet.
A few hours later in the show, Howard took a call from a fan who claimed he had indeed done the dirty deed many years ago. Stepping out of his cubicle so his co-workers couldn’t hear him, he explained the incident took place while he was out at a club with a girl he knew. While out on the dance floor with her, he recalled how his stomach suddenly started churning, which may or may not have been caused by some cocaine he ingested earlier in the evening.
“I was farting on the dance floor,” the caller remembered.
With no time to spare, he told Howard he booked it to the bathroom to find he had a bad case of diarrhea. But following him straight into a stall was the same girl he was dancing with.
“She proceeds to get on her knees and … full out blumpkin,” the caller continued.
Howard and Robin could not believe their ears. “You gotta be good looking. Who do you look like, Brad Pitt?” Howard asked.
Stern Show listeners probably expected the story to end there but the caller then revealed he not only ended up dating that girl, they’re now married.
“She’s now the mother of my kids,” he told Howard.
Though it sounds like the caller has fond memories of that night, he made it clear he and his wife don’t do anything quite so shocking nowadays. “It’s nothing like that today,” he explained. “We were younger, crazier, and just charged up.”
Suddenly, Howard could hear some female voices in the background on the call. Turns out, it was the Stern Show caller’s co-workers, one of whom was his wife who works in the same office he does. Of course, Howard immediately asked to talk to her. She obliged and confirmed every detail of the story is true.
“I had a couple vodka tonics in me so it made it a little more bearable,” she said over the phone.
“You’re my Miss America,” Howard told her with a laugh.