Michael Rapaport called into the Stern Show on Monday to brag about his opening week victory in the Emotional Friends Fantasy Football League, but the conversation eventually swung toward his ongoing feud with Brent Hatley.
The actor has expressed his disdain for the staffer on multiple occasions over the past few months, including just last week when Rapaport lampooned Brent in a rap parody song set to the Beastie Boys’ “Brass Monkey.” Now, it was Hatley's turn to strike back.
“You’re the biggest bitch on the planet,” he told Rapaport before challenging him to a mixed-martial-arts brawl. “We can bring all the talking to an end and we can settle things like men any day you want … Let’s get in the Octagon and see who walks out over their own power.”
Michael didn’t balk. “Any time you want to spar with me, I’ll beat the shit out of you,” he replied.
In addition to challenging him to a fight, Brent revealed he has no intention of attending the upcoming fantasy football league party Rapaport plans to host at his house. Their ongoing feud aside, Rapaport couldn’t understand why. “I invited you to the party. You won’t come to the party, why?” Michael asked. “Bring your wife! I’ve got a beautiful spread, I’m going to have a sushi chef. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is I don’t like you like a human being,” Brent responded. “You’re a bad person, you’re every bully that I’ve ever run into in my life, and you need a good fucking ass-kicking.”
Michael and Brent’s beef clearly extends beyond the gridiron, as the actor has taken issue with Brent’s on-air swinging stories in the past, so Howard wondered how their whole feud started.
“I’ve done nothing to the guy,” Brent explained. "He’s got some weird obsession with me, and he’s upset that he can’t bully me like he can everybody else in life.”
But Rapaport wouldn’t relent. “I fantasy better than you, I fight better than you, and, oh yeah, I fuck better than you,” he told Brent at one point during the call—just before delivering an a cappella version of last week’s song parody.
Not to be outdone, Brent confirmed he's currently crafting a diss track of his own. “I’m excited for Brent’s song,” fellow staffer Richard Christy said. “He’s working with some named metal musicians.”
“It sounds like Brent did his homework,” Howard agreed. “You don’t want to fuck with Brent. Brent will do a whole dossier on you.”
Stern Show co-host Robin Quivers, meanwhile, was shocked just to learn Brent and Rapaport’s on-air sparring was so deep-seated and genuine. “I didn’t realize this was real,” she said.
“Oh, it’s real,” Howard noted.
“You can tell because Brent’s breathing hard,” Richard added.