AUDIO: Flirty Gary Seduces Bigfoot’s Estranged Lover Melody in New Phony Phone Call

“I thought she loved me,” the Wack Packer says while explaining why their romance was on the rocks

March 29, 2022
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Bigfoot’s romance may be on the rocks.

The Wack Packer told Stern Show correspondent Wolfie he’d recently hit a rough patch with his girlfriend Melody, whom he at one point planned to marry. He said their troubles began after Melody’s 35-year-old son demanded child support from him, despite the fact Bigfoot isn’t his father. According to Wolfie, Melody—who lives on a goat farm in a camper without running water—constantly asks Bigfoot for money, yet she requested the Wack Packer sign a prenup before the two of them could get married.

During a recorded conversation with Wolfie, Bigfoot said the wedding was as good as “off.” “She has not called me back in the last two days,” he told Wolfie. “Obviously, she doesn’t care about me as much as she said she did.”

“How does your heart feel?” Wolfie asked.

“It feels really bad. I thought she loved me,” Bigfoot said.

That’s where Flirty Gary came in.

“When we found out the relationship was on the rocks, we decided to test Melody’s loyalty to Bigfoot,” Howard said, explaining the show had phony phone call favorite Flirty Gary call her up and attempt to seduce her.

Co-host Robin Quivers, for one, thought Flirty G might find success. “I’m suspicious of Melody’s claim of love … she may be ready to jump on the very next guy,” she said.

Sure enough, it didn’t take Flirty Gary long to win Melody over. “I hope you got experience with livestock because I’ve got a hog between these legs,” he said at one point.

“Yeah, baby. Now you’re talking,” Melody responded. “Let me hear that thing … Slap it up against the phone.”

“I don’t think she thought about Bigfoot even once,” Robin said after hearing the call.

“Flirty Gary is like our Pete Davidson,” Howard laughed. “Nice job.”

As disheartening as the call sounded to Howard and company, the latest news was that Bigfoot’s marriage to Melody was now back on. “They reconnected,” Wolfie said. “The reason that Melody wasn’t calling Bigfoot was that she couldn’t pay her cellphone bill.”

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