Get My Daddy Laid

June 17, 2005

Today, three daughters brought their father’s on the show in an attempt to win them the greatest Father’s Day gift ever – a trip to the Bunny Ranch to sleep with the beautiful Becca Brat or any one of the other beautiful ladies there.

The first contestants were Kamora and her father John. She said she really wanted to get her dad laid because she can’t stand his current girlfriend. Robin and Joe were the next team. Robin is blind and Howard said she should have been in our Blind Beauty Pageant because she was pretty cute. Robin said she wasn’t able to get her tape in on time. Robin said she wants this prize for her dad because he’s getting divorced and she feels he deserves it. The final contestants were Rachel and her dad Ben. Rachel said her dad just got divorced too – from a 32 year old model.

Rachel and Ben said there were some issues with her because they felt she only married him thinking he was rich, which he isn’t. Rachel also claimed that she was stealing money from them, but Ben didn’t want to get into that. Howard then introduced the dads to their potential date, Becca Brat. Every guy was impressed and Joe, who didn’t even know why his daughter brought him down here today, was extremely pleased. Becca said she’s been working at the Bunny Ranch for about five years and she really enjoys it. Howard asked her how many guys she does each day. She said on a really busy day she can do more than five, but normally only one or two. Becca said that guys always tell her how great she is in bed and no guy lasts much more than two minutes with her. Becca then showed off what the guys were playing for. She took off her top and Howard noticed that both her nipples were pierced. He asked if that was all she had pierced and she said no, then whipped off her Bunny Ranch underwear to show the other area she has pierced.

A Little Too Much Info

After the introductions, it was time to start the game. Howard asked the daughters to leave the studio and then explained the game to the dads. Howard said they were going to play this game “Newlywed” style. He was going to ask them a series of questions about their daughters and they had to say what they think their daughters would say.

Each time the father’s answer matches his daughter’s answer they get five points; with the last question being worth 25 points. With that explanation, the game was underway.

#1 – At what age did your daughter first perform oral sex? John said 25-years-old. Everyone asked if he was serious and he said he was. Joe said 16, but said he didn’t know for sure. Ben said 15 with conviction and joked that he knew this was the right answer. He later said he was kidding.

#2 – If your daughter had to have sex with a family member, who would they choose? John said his daughter Kamora would pick her brother Ben. Joe also went the brother route, saying his daughter would pick her brother Joe. Ben thought of someone else though, saying Rachel would probably prefer to bed her cousin John.

#3 – What is your daughter’s favorite sexual position? Joe said, “on her hands on knees,” (a.k.a. doggy style). Ben, again with conviction, blurted out doggie style. John though, thinking his daughter is a good girl, said missionary.

#4 – What would your daughter say is the race that would upset you the most if they dated them? Ben said his daughter knows him well enough to know that there is no race that would bother him. John agreed and said the same thing. Joe though said this one was easy, he’d be most upset with her dating a black guy, (a pretty bold thing to say considering he was sitting next to John, a black guy).

#5 – If asked to flash her breasts at you, would you daughter do it? This one came with the caveat that if they say yes, and the daughters also say yes, then they have to do it. All three fathers said no way.

ter a short break the girls came back in the room to try to match up the answers:Question #1 — Kamora, whose father said she didn’t go down on a guy until she was 25 was shocked to hear his daughter blurt out 17. Joe was right on the money with 16-years-old, earning five points for his team. Rachel and Ben had the strangest answer though. Rachel thought her father was going to say she was 13 when she gave oral, but Ben said 15. Rachel said it wasn’t true that she first lost her oral virginity at 13, but she thought that’s what her father thought.Question #2 — Both John and Joe had predicted their daughters Kamora and Robin would elect to sleep with their brothers if they were forced to make love to a family member. Unfortunately, Joe picked the wrong brother. He said Robin would want her brother Patrick, but she said she’d want her brother Joe. Robin Quivers wondered what difference it made and Robin explained that her brother Billy is only her half brother. Joe said he felt pretty stupid for not thinking that one through. John and Kamora both picked her brother and Rachel said she’d want to sleep with her half brother Billy too. Unfortunately for Ben though, he thought she’d want to bang her cousin John.At this point both Kamora/John and Robin/Joe had five points each…Question #3 — Kamora, realizing her dad thought she was a saint, said her dad probably said missionary position for her which was right. The other fathers picked doggie style and they were both right, so everyone got five points for the round. Apparently each father knows how their daughter’s like it.Question #4 — Rachel correctly said her father wouldn’t have a problem with her sleeping with any race and Robin knew her dad would have a problem with a black guy. Kamora though, whose father thought she’d say he wouldn’t have a problem with any race, immediately blurted out that her father wouldn’t like her being with an Eastern European man. She was shocked that wasn’t his answer because he hates Europeans.Question #5 — Finally, all three fathers said their daughters would not get naked, but only one father was right – John!With scores all tallied, Kamora ended up winning the date for her father! Robin Quivers wondered how John was gong to go since he had a girlfriend and he said he’d figure out a way. Becca, in her infinite goodness, offered both Joe and Ben a trip out to the ranch — even if she had to pay for it herself! — so it looks like everyone is going to have a great Father’s Day!