Gary Dell'Abate Saves Ashton Kutcher's Life

Gary said he got a weird call last night at home from former KROCK DJ, Cane. Gary was happy to hear from him at first because he hadn't talked to Cane in awhile, but Cane, who is now on ESPN's "Cold Pizza", had an ulterior motive in mind. Apparently he got hooked up with the producers of Ashton Kutcher's show "Punk'd" and they wanted Gary to help them punk Howard. Gary told Cane that wouldn't be a good idea because Howard has said a million times on-the-air that he would flip out if he was ever "Punk'd", going as far as saying he might actually kill Ashton Kutcher if it did happen. Besides, he'd never give them permission to air it, so it doesn't matter. Gary suggested that Cane try Howard's agent though and hung up.

Then Cane called back a few minutes later with the writers of "Punk'd" to try to convince Gary again. Artie asked what kind of writers work on that show because he finds it hard to believe that someone actually wrote the, "Let's tell Jessica Simpson her dog was killed," bit. Gary said Cane wanted him to help pull off the prank and in exchange the show would promise to "protect" Gary, so no one would find out it was him. Gary said, "yeah, right," and knew Howard would kill him if he ever found out. Howard agreed and said he would have fired Gary. Howard was a little upset though that Gary didn't find out what their plan was because it would have been funny to find out what they were doing and then call the cops on them or something. Howard said he'd like to punk Ashton Kutcher by kidnapping him, having him gang raped, and then asking him how he feels. You know, take him down a notch.