Butt Bongo Lives

June 27, 2005

Howard brought fitness model turned porn star, Lori Lust into the studio this morning for a visit. He had gotten an email from her boyfriend saying she was willing to do just about anything for the chance to come in; so he figured, why not? Howard asked her a little about herself and her career. Lori said she’s been doing porn for about 6 months and has already made 9 films.

But when Lori said she was only 26, Howard skeptically asked when she was born. Lori quickly answered 1978; however, she didn’t recall when she graduated from high school, claiming she didn’t want to talk about that part of her life.

Howard changed the subject and asked to see her implants, which she showed him – even offering to let him feel them. Howard said he would wait to see how the rest of the interview went. Since Lori had said she was up for anything, Howard thought this would be a great opportunity to bring back a favorite bit and subject of a Pay-Per-View, Butt Bongo Fiesta. He said that having a renowned speed metal drummer on staff in Richard Christy only sweetened the deal.

To set the mood, Howard played a few good drum solos, including “Moby Dick” by Led Zeppelin that went on forever. Howard wished he had the live version of it from “The Song Remains the Same” because it was even longer. He had Lori show him her ass to see if she could handle this and after careful inspection, decided she could. Robin wondered if Howard could handle it and he wasn’t sure he could.

Howard asked if Richard could do the live version and Richard said he probably could but he’d have to listen to it for a while first though. Richard suggested Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” instead, so Lori hopped into Richard’s lap and off he went. Lori grimaced loudly a few times and Howard stopped Richard for a moment less than a minute into it to point out how red she was getting down there. Then Richard went on a little while longer, claiming he was just getting warmed up. Howard wondered if he could do the drum intro to Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” so Richard started doing that too.

Then Richard played “name that tune” and played a long, slapping rendition of Rush’s “Tom Sawyer” which no one guessed. Howard was afraid she was getting too red, but Lori said she was ok. Robin suggested Richard find a fresh spot to bongo on. Richard tried another tune and Robin correctly guessed Led Zeppelin’s “Rock & Roll”. Everyone was concerned about Lori’s ass at this point so Richard stopped. Lori said she was ok and suggested rubbing some baby oil on to cool it down. Richard was only too happy to oblige. Robin was afraid she wouldn’t be able to sit after this, but Lori said she’s had worse.