Getting His Kicks From Pippi

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Norah Vincent, the author of “Self-Made Man,” came into the studio to talk about pretending to be a man in order to find out how the lives of the two sexes are different. Norah reported that she’s a lesbian, but that she didn’t figure out her orientation until later on in her life. However, Norah noted that she should’ve realized at a young age that she liked women, explaining that she used to fantasize being strapped to a conveyor belt while women who looked like Olivia Newton-John tickled her as the belt moved. This led Howard to admit that some of his earliest fantasies involved Anne Francis’ character from the television show, “Honey West.”

Howard went on to say that his mom once bought him a book about “Honey West” and, in one part of it, Anne was bound and gagged by a group of men. Howard acknowledged that, after reading this, he immediately began wishing he was those men. Despite the odd fantasy, Norah assured Howard it didn’t mean he had homosexual desires, but probably meant he was a masochist. Artie then pointed out that he used to be attracted to “strong” women, noting that he used to masturbate to Pippi Longstocking.

There’s A First Time For Everything

Norah said that she didn’t have her first lesbian experience until her senior year of college and that, before the incident, she dated men. Norah went on to say, though, that, because of her religious upbringing, she was with only one man before turning solely to women. Given this, Howard wondered if Norah’s male sexual partner got a black-and-blue penis after their encounter, explaining that he had a friend who had sex with a lesbian and received injuries to his penis because the woman hadn’t engaged in heterosexual intercourse before. After denying that her partner’s penis was injured as a result of their lovemaking, Norah acknowledged that she still finds men’s bodies “beautiful,” which led Howard to demand Artie take off his shirt to debunk her theory.

As Realistic As Possible

In order to “become a man,” Norah said she consulted a makeup artist to construct her beard, as well as a vocal coach so that she could speak more like a man. Norah added, though, that there were times during her experiment that she saw puppies on the street and her cadence changed back to normal, but no one caught on to it. Norah also said that she was in a bowling league with 75 men, and that none of them figured out her secret. Norah went on to report that she wasn’t as afraid walking the streets as a man as she is as a woman, although she admitted men are much more confrontational with each other, so she couldn’t make eye contact with them. Norah then mentioned that she had a fake penis put in her pants, but that she never stood at a stall to pretend to urinate.