Artie's New Eating Trend

Artie acknowledged he's never been unhealthier than he is now and feels like "an old man." When Howard commented the building's vending machine is Artie's biggest downfall, he agreed, but added he brought in a grilled chicken sandwich his mother made this morning in an attempt to start eating better. As Artie took out the sandwich, though, Howard pointed out it was covered in oil and cheese, which he said meant it was loaded with calories. Howard also commented since Artie will more than likely consume Devil Dogs and soda with the sandwich, eating the sandwich wouldn't actually make him lose weight. Artie then reported he played full-court basketball yesterday, but his teammates got mad at him because all he did was take outside shots and refused to play defense.