Bubba's Wife: The Woman of Artie's Dreams?

After Artie admitted he tried to masturbate to Heather following the wedding, Howard asked him if he ever watched porn while pleasuring himself.

However, Artie noted he owned three "pornographic movies," and that, because they were at least 12-year-old VHS tapes that he has memorized, he rarely used them. Artie also acknowledged he masturbated to Dana a few nights ago, which he added really depressed him, seeing as he could've had "the real thing" had he been willing to go to therapy for her.