Artie Is Sickened By His New Diet

Howard started the show off reporting that Artie had called in sick this morning and also had called him last night while watching "Dancing with the Stars" because he wanted to see the girl Kevin Connolly said he was dating. Howard then played Artie's calling-in sick message, in which Artie blamed his sickness on his new diet. Howard remarked that he's never seen a more miserable guy since Artie started this diet, and Robin agreed, joking that he might just be going through soda withdrawal.

Robin said she enjoyed the dynamic of Artie's relationship with his mom last Friday; Artie acts "like a 9-year-old" around her. Robin added that Artie beats himself up and recounts the show to his mom (in an "Italian movie-like" "oh, ma" fashion), and his mom, in turn, "props him up." Robin laughed that Artie's "Oh, Ma"s are like a song. Howard then wished that he had a pill that he could give Artie to make him lose weight, but Artie's love of food was just too much.