Colin Quinn is Banned in Islamic Warzones

Colin can't go with Artie on his USO tour.

Colin Quinn stopped by to promote his upcoming gigs, and the crew immediately asked why he couldn't go to Iraq with Artie's USO tour. Colin said he was banned by the government after making jokes about some of the locals: "I was in Afghanistan...and I made some comment that it was well known that the locals go 'boy hunting' at night. They go sodomizing young boys on Monday nights. Boys night out." Gary came in to explain that Colin did his "boy" bit at the one USO tour stop where foreign dignitaries were in the audience, and a few of them took offense. Colin encouraged Artie to do his act with the word "Arab" traded in for "f*g" when he's overseas. He also explain why he wasn't cool with Jim Florentine: "He showed me his balls. They're like good-sized Sunkist oranges." Robin took issue with Colin's claim: "His balls are not big!" Which can only mean one thing...Robin has seen Jim's balls (but then again, so has Artie, Colin and many others).

Sandler's List Will Depress You

Colin and Artie began talking about Adam Sandler's "list," which they speculated included Alicia Silverstone (when she was young), Juliette Lewis, and Angie Everhart – leading Howard to note that if she cited him as the best she's ever had, that meant he was better than Adam. Colin then complained about always having to deal with Howard's staff, citing Steve Langford's recent calls about Artie's blow-up and Will's trademark pre-interview tact as examples. Colin told the crew about his short stay in fat camp, saying he could only stick around for five or six days: "You could almost say I'm keeping the weight on to keep people away." Robin asked if Colin was still depressed (and why), so Colin confessed that he messed up his marriage, his writing hasn't gone anywhere, he's banned from USO tours and currently has no interesting projects in the works...yes he's still depressed.