Norm MacDonald Doesn’t Want Your Wife

February 9, 2009
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Norm MacDonald stopped by promote some upcoming comedy gigs and said a limo driver in Florida recently offered him his wife: “All week long, guys were like this is my wife and this is the other wife.” Artie explained that married comedy fans frequently want to party and hook you up with their single friend: “There’s always a hot-tub and ecstasy and pills and they’re like, ‘Come back and we’ll all f’.'”

Norm said he hated partying with couples: “My thing is – for sexual encounters – I like to lie on top of a lady.” Norm said he thought even less of Artie’s recent Rolling Stone profile: “It’s the weirdest f’ing thing I’ve ever read in my life…I’ve never read an article about an entertainer where the entertainer is described as a liar…I thought I was [supposed to be] reading about a f’ing comic.”

Norm Turned Down Paul Newman

Howard asked Norm about the time he won a half million dollars on Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire and donated it to the Paul Newman Foundation, so Norm said he was invited to Paul’s ranch afterward and turned it down: “It comes down to just you and Paul Newman in a room…and I got no [good] stories, like ‘One time, Will Ferrell…'”

Norm said the worst part was that he knew the answer to the million dollar question.