Artie is Taking a Break From the Show

Howard started off the show announcing that Artie wasn't in-studio (again) today: "I guess I should make some sort of statement...last week, when Artie was here, he didn't look too good."

Howard continued: "I guess management suggested to Artie that he relax and take some time and maybe get some I guess Artie has taken some time or management has forced him to take some time."

You've Got the Wrong Number

Howard added that Artie's absence wasn't his biggest problem: "Quite frankly, I think management should give me some time off." For 10 days, an older woman has been calling his private line several times a day, usually after he goes to sleep: "Beth has said to her, 'Look, you've got to stop calling this number. Please.'" Howard said he finally picked up last night and threatened to call the police, but woman seemed senile, claiming she was trying to call her son.