Norm MacDonald Spits in the Studio

Norm MacDonald stopped by to promote his four-night stand at Caroline's comedy club and Howard asked him to spit out his gum. So Norm hocked a lugie on the floor, saying: "That's not gum." Howard demanded that Norm clean it up: "You just spit up yellow stuff!" Norm laughed and didn't move, so Artie cleaned it up for him.

Bob Uecker Gives Good Stories

Norm noted that he talked with Bob Uecker the other day - so Artie cut in: "And?" Norm laughed: "Whatever." Artie explained that he told a story during his last Letterman appearance about sitting with Bob as he called Brewers game: "From what I remember - Norm might not remember this because he's friends with Bob Uecker...he would hit the cough button and say something filthy about [babes in the crowd] and go back into calling the game." Norm said Bob was upset with Artie for telling the story, asking Norm: "What about that f'ing Artie Klein?" Norm laughed: "He really didn't like 'Artie Klein' anymore. He said, 'That f'er must be short on material.'" Norm added that he also asked Bob how his recent double-knee replacement went and Bob replied: "F'ing great, man. I can still give a blowjob."

On Female Comedians

Howard asked Norm if he knew that Laura Kightlinger hated him, and Norm laughed: "Uh huh." Howard then played a clip from The Greg Fitzsimmons Show of Laura discussing Norm: "He's not a friend of mine...he's was supposed to my kind of guide through SNL, but he's kind of a shitstirrer. He likes to pit people against each other...he's one of the few people I really don't like."

Norm said he barely remembered Laura, joking: "Except for her characters, obviously." Norm added: "I'm not gonna guide any lady through comedy. First of all, I'd have to figure out how a lady could do comedy...Maybe [women] make each other laugh. I don't know...the best comedy is honesty. And women lie way more than men do."