Don’t Touch the Situation’s Hair

November 4, 2010
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino stopped by to promote his new book, ‘Here’s the Situation,’ and immediately complained that Gary had messed up his hair while putting on his headphones: “Gary had no regard…he didn’t even care! There is a correct way to put on the headphones and he mushed me pretty much.” (That was mushed, not smooshed.)

Destined to be The Situation

Howard asked about Mike’s pre-MTV life, so Mike explained that he’d started working out at 16 (“For chicks.”) and was employed as a mortgage broker before landing his ‘Jersey Shore’ gig: “Until the market crashed and I had no job.” After losing his job, Mike moved back in with his parents: “No money. Down on my luck. Unemployment. The whole 9.”

He turned to modeling to make ends meet–and was ‘discovered’ soon after: “I did underwear modeling for 2 weeks and got noticed for TV.” Howard asked Mike how he dealt with gays in the modeling world, so Mike shrugged that it was weird when they’d ask to ‘adjust’ him in his underwear–so he’d just brush them off and handle things on his own: “It doesn’t bother me one bit. I got mass appeal, I guess.”

Mike said he’d been comforted by a sense of destiny: “There was a voice in my head that said something was out there.”

Protein Vodka

While he was in studio, Mike repeatedly worked in plugs for his vodka company, Devotion, which sells “the first protein-infused vodka on the planet.”

Robin didn’t understand the point: “Why would you infuse protein into vodka?”

The Situation just laughed: “Why wouldn’t you?”

It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp

Mike told the crew his newfound fame was making it hard to find a good girl: “You’re target almost sometimes ’cause, you know, you’re doing very well for yourself…it’s getting hard for me to find a real relationship.”

Mike said he’d like to be in a committed relationship (“To share all these experiences I’m having.”) but he only meets fame-hungry girls these days: “A good indicator is when she starts to brag about all the other famous people she’s met.” Mike said it had gotten to the point that he had to have 24×7 security and he has them hold onto the cellphones of the girls he does hook-up with just make sure no photos get taken.