Attack of the Bugs

Howard revealed that today's show had actually been cancelled over the weekend due to the discovery of bedbugs in the Sirius XM offices. However, the company acted fast:

"We received treatments here and supposedly we're 100% bedbug-free. The only place in New York City that probably is 100% bedbug-free."

Howard regretted the veracity of the treatment--a doubt he knew might be irrational: "You know how paranoid I am about bedbugs."

Howard blamed anti-DDT environmentalists for the bedbug epidemic, saying the insects weren't a problem when DDT was still widely-used: "Now they're back! Because of hippies with their goddamn DDT-inhibition!"

Howard began suffering a psychosomatic itch: "All I know is I'm scratching every minute...I just wish our contract was done and we could get out of here."

As a result, Howard shortened the day's show: "My new routine is: as soon as the show's over, I get out of here."