Show Rundown: February 1, 2011
Ralph’s New Attitude
Howard Wonders Whether Sending a Team to the Super Bowl Is a Waste of Money
Would Howard Ever Have a Civil Conversation with Dr. Laura?
Kacey Jordan: Charlie Sheen’s Personal Pornstar
Kacey Jordan: Charlie Sheen’s Personal Pornstar
The adult actress tells Howard all the wild details of her time with the "Two and a Half Men" star
Kacey Jordan, the porn star Charlie Sheen hired as an escort during his most recently-publicized binge, stopped by to tell her story–and immediately asked to start partying: “You’ve got a bar here? I’m a huge drinker. I actually have a kidney infection right now but it doesn’t stop me.”
Kacey claimed her problem could be genetic: “My mom was a wine-aholic.”
Howard asked if Kacey, as a self-professed ‘porn star’ and not ‘prostitute,’ used the adopted title to be more discerning about who she ‘works’ with, but Kacey shook her head: “I’m not particular about who I bang. I just work all the time…I just started doing anal. I did anal in Jersey.”
When she gets in a jam, she heads back to her home state: “I like to do all my abortions in Oregon. Where I’m from.”
Asked about her time with Charlie, Kacey said Charlie–and a few other girls–appeared to have been partying for days before she’d showed up: “I think he was already on a binger before I got there.”
To catch up, Kacey grabbed a bottle of vodka and told Charlie she could out-drink him–as the girls shrank away: “They were like, ‘Don’t challenge him. Don’t challenge him.'”
Sure enough, Charlie grabbed the full glass of vodka from her and started guzzling it. Kacey said Charlie’s binge was a celebration of sorts; the only other male guest was Charlie’s real estate agent.
Charlie had just purchased a home he plans to stock with porn–and porn stars: “This plan came within the binge. When he’s serious and he wants something, all his enablers are like, ‘Ok, we’re going to do whatever he says.’ Because–what’s he worth? Like $380 million?”
At first, Charlie tried impressing Kacey by recounting–from memory–every detail of his favorite porn scenes: “He’s like, ‘I’m going to tell you a scene from start to finish.'”
A man then showed up with a suitcase full of huge coke bags: “Like tennis ball-size.” Kacey said she’d never seen anything like Charlie’s behavior and drug consumption: “Even like [in] a movie. It’s worse than ‘Scarface.'”
Kacey alleged that Charlie had lost his teeth to drug use and replaced them with gold teeth: “Like Lil Jon. I don’t know. It’s like, his whole tooth [sic] was, like gold…I think like, for his show, they put on temporaries [veneers] to cover the gold.”
Kacey didn’t use any of the coke herself–until Charlie started smoking it and exhaling into her mouth. Later, “we got into the shower because we were sweating from all the drugs.”
After they’d showered, Kacey recalled that Charlie wanted to have sex: “He went and grabbed a condom. I didn’t have to fight him.” And she was ready to: “Everyone was like, ‘Make sure you use a condom. It’s Charlie Sheen.'”
Charlie was surprisingly quick, hard and responsive for a guy on coke: “It didn’t last very long. But not only did he f’, he finished.”
Little did he know, he was Kacey’s second sexual partner that day: “Charlie actually got my sloppy seconds that night, because I’d just shot a porn scene [earlier in the day] when he went down on me.”
Kacey said Charlie gave her $30,000 for her services, but she’s made more–she recently went to Vegas for the AVN Awards with $35,000 in her pocket: “I got it overseas. It was just a ‘gift.'”
Kacey explained how she’d been flown to the Middle East by a man who “owns the airlines,” and asked to stay in a hotel. She and the other girls on-site were free during the day: “We have to be back by like 8pm in case he calls.”
Kacey had originally gone for 3 days but was held for longer: “He wouldn’t let me leave for, like, 8 days.” When the guy finally came around, he asked each girl to submit to IQ test-like questions: “He makes us play games…he’s, like, so f’ed up.”
He then has “really aggressive” sex with the girl of his choice (“Like f’ing my throat.”) in an ice-cold room: “It’s like a freezer because it’s against their religion for me to sweat on them.”