Comedian Doug Stanhope returned with his girlfriend, Bingo, to promote his new album, 'Burning the Bridge to Nowhere,' and confessed that he'd lost the desire to bang her: "I have really no sex drive at all."
Bingo, a bi-polar schizophrenic, said she didn't mind: "It's not an insult at all. I understand. He's getting old. My medication kills all of my drive so it doesn't affect me."
When asked if Bingo was medicated this morning, she said she was: "Heavily." Bingo said Doug wasn't being totally honest: "You only have a sex drive if you've done cocaine."
Not that she wants him anyway: "I'd rather do it by myself." Things are going pretty well without sex: "My life right now is so perfect. I'm medicated. I'm fully-functional right now."
Doug nodded, saying he was fine with the status quo: "I've told her, if she cheats on me, don't tell me."