Sal Is Still a Turtle

November 20, 2013
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Sal was ‘regressed’ by a hypnotist yesterday and found himself reliving his past lives, the earliest of which was as a big pregnant turtle trying to bury her eggs and hide from pterodactyls.

Howard told Sal that it was probably just a dream-like state, but Sal had his own ideas. He is still sure that he has lived life as a turtle. He knows that he isn’t a turtle now, but he definitely has turtle in his history.


Howard played clips of Gary and Sal talking about his memories on the Wrap Up show, including the time Sal thought he could stay over at Howard’s apartment and watch Survivor in Howard’s bed. Sal said he understands that that isn’t going to happen, but thinks that if he were to explain it the right way, it wouldn’t sound crazy.

Howard pointed out that having the guy who jerked off to his aunt in the bathroom – and sniffed a friends daughter’s underwear – is never staying at his house, ever.

Howard’s final thought was that Gary and Sal talking about Sal’s regression should be an absurdist Broadway play. He loved that Gary told Sal – as a compliment – that he was a “really good turtle”. Line of the week.