Stern Show writer Richard Christy was hired – along with Sal and Ronnie the Limo Driver – to attend a fan's bachelor party in Florida over the weekend.
Richard drinks to excess when he's planted to the ground, but he's so terrified of flying he can't consume enough alcohol to drag himself onto a plane.
Richard and his enabler Sal booze it up
He was completely trashed on the flight down to Florida, so much so that he flaked on the other guys from lunch and slept until 8 PM, right as the bachelor party started. The guys hopped in a limo to pick the bachelor up and Richard requested they make a beer run on the way.
Ronnie, whose whole life is the limo, informed Richard that an open container of beer or alcohol was illegal in any car, but Richard wouldn't have any of it.
MIXING IT UP IN THE MEN'S ROOM
For the flight back home, Richard arrived at the airport at 7 AM on a Sunday and could not believe that the bar was closed. Luckily, like most adults, Richard had several hotel rooms worth of mini bottles in his luggage. Thinking quickly, he bought a bottle of juice, headed for the men's room, and mixed his own drinks. There was a guy shitting in the stall next to him, and he was grossed out thinking about the shit particles that were probably floating around in his drink. He drank on anyway – after all, this is a guy who will drink through his ass.
Some people would call what Richard is doing int his pic "double fisting" but Richard just calls it drinking
On the plane, Richard ordered two bottles of champagne and begged Sal and Ronnie to also order two bottles for his beloved mimosas. He even staggered back to the flight attendants to thank them for serving him and managed to hillbilly-charm them into two free bottles.
He also extended an invitation to hang out with them once they touched down in New York, because Richard doesn't care who he drinks with, just as long as he drinks.
Here's Richard "pretending" to drink a giant bottle of wine
Howard is constantly amazed at Richard ability and desire to put away so much booze. He actually calculates how many calories he's burned on his daily runs so he can replenish them with booze.
Fred was particularly upset, asking Richard if he's okay with the fact that sometimes people have to wheel him around because he's so shitfaced. Fred warned that Richard's alcoholism is affecting people, he just doesn't know it, and said he'll have to crash and burn before he listens to anybody.