As most of our fans know, Metallica is one of Richard Christy's faaaaaavorite bands in the whole wide world and he said he'd "do anything" to sit in and watch their performance today.
So Howard gave Richard a simple task - stop drinking for 30 days and meet Metallica. If he fails the challenge, Sal Governale would take the smegma off his digusting, dirty, uncircumsized penis and wipe it under Richard's nose. A Smegma Mustache.
Richard agreed to the no drinking challenge - then promplty backed out. Even though the contest lasted a total of 10 minutes, Richard still had to pay his dues today.
Sal quickly whipped out his penis, which he proudly announced was very unwashed. Howard marveled that he could see "big clumps of cheese" on his dick.
If only it were actual cheese. In reality it was the built-up gunk that "fermented" in Sal's foreskin after a week of not cleaning himself.
The moment arrived and Sal put his penis where it was created to go – around Richard's mouth.
Richard gagged and heaved and eventually ralphed into a garbage can, but the punishment was over.
For more on Richard's love of Metallica (and beer) check out his blog!