Scott Salem Is a No Show and Everything Else

It was almost impossible to notice, but Scott ‘the Engineer’ Salem stayed home this morning, just like he announced he would.

Although every single other staff member made it a priority to get here this morning, Scott said ‘no way’.

So all we can do is predict what the morning was like for Scott.

He definitely smoked. He most certainly ate. And he might have even bowled—as he revealed that he would go bowling if the alley was open.

Bowling is his first love, and it’s way, way, way more important than his job.

EVERYTHING ELSE

Howard and Robin applauded David Lee Roth for just shaving his head and being proud of being bald.

Howard still hates the movie ‘Birdman’ despite many staffers and caller telling him what a good movie it is.

Howard a Robin listened and laughed at the SiriusXM Shade 45 interview with Tom Hanks’ rapper son Chet Haze. The interview was conducted by a white guy named Rude Jude, who also sounds totally black. Those who were listening to the interviewed called up and said everything from ‘kick [Chet] in the d*ck’ to ‘it sounds like he’s singing into a butthole’.

Evil Dave Letterman did some grade A eating while he was waiting to go on the Stern Show yesterday and, naturally, Sal and Richard recorded him chowing down.

Don’t f*ck with George Lopez. We listened to a clip this morning of George bashing Erik Estrada. George tried to meet Erik when he was 17 years old and Erik blew him off. Let’s just say, George holds a grudge