Official Wack Pack List: Who's In and Who's Out?

Howard and the Stern Show decide who gets a coveted spot

Howard recently got to wondering which Wack Packer he would choose to be if he had to to choose to be one wack packer and he and Robin decided to really hash it out.

But first, everyone had to decide who exactly was a wack packer – a discussion that has been going on for ages. Everybody decided to make a list and really get down to decided – once and for all – who was in and who was out.

Here is who made the cut:



Mark 'Bigfoot' Shaw

Crackhead Bob

Ass Napkin Ed

Angry Alice

High Pitch Erik

Fred the Elephant Boy

Gary the Conqueror


Jeff the Drunk

John the Stutterer

Nicole Bass

Riley Martin


Underdog Lady

Wendy the Slow Adult

Miss Howard Stern


Cliff Palete

Matthew 'Bigfoot' McGrory

Blue Iris

Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach

Eric the Actor

Jeff the Vomit Guy

Sour Shoes

Tan Mom

Medicated Pete

Mark the Bagger

Melrose Larry Green

Asian Pete


Ham Hands Bill

Yucko the Clown

King of All Blacks

Mariann from Brooklyn

Angry Black

Big Black

Gay Ramone

Captain Janks

Joey Boots


Daniel Carver

Evil Dave Letterman

Iron Sheik

Ted the Janitor

Surprisingly, it seemed that everyone who did not make it into the wack pack was very upset about it. Mariann called up pissed, Bobo was devastated, and Captain Janks tried to prove he was in the pack by claiming the phrase was coined for him. Gay Ramone even called up crying – the problem is, Gay Ramone is just gay and it's 2015 – there's nothing weird about that.

Onto the next subject: which wack packer would you trade lives with if you absolutely had to? This was a tough one.

If they're not mentally challenged, they're physically challenged, and oftentimes both.

Stern Show executive producer Gary Dell'Abate immediately chose Gary the Conqueror and nobody could figure out why. Howard theorized that it was solely because Gary wouldn't have to change his name.

Fred initially went with Jeff the Drunk, but decided that he'd need to think about it some more.

Ronnie immediately went with Miss Howard Stern because she loves to drink and party.

Sal chose Beetlejuice because he's always having a blast – though it was revealed that he acts conservatively when he's at home with his mother.

Benjy chose Ass Napkin Ed because his life seemed fun (to Benjy).

Robin settled on Medicated Pete.

Howard went with Sour Shoes.

We polled the rest of our staff off the air and here were their picks:

Richard Christy – Sour Shoes

JD Harmeyer – Beetlejuice

Jon Hein – Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

Will Murray – Ass Napkin Ed

Jason Kaplan – Wendy the Slow Adult

Steve Brandano – Beetlejuice