Tommy From Malden Explains How He Found His Wife on Craigslist

What began as a normal call about second amendment rights from longtime listener Tommy from Malden quickly turned into something much more interesting as Howard got word from Shuli Egar that Tommy may have gotten a mail-order wife.

“Shuli made that up,” Tommy insisted, explaining that he brought her to the Stern staffer’s comedy show and she just didn’t laugh.

“She kept blinking, ‘Help me,’ with her eyes,” Shuli shot back.

Tommy explained that his wife actually responded to a Craigslist ad he had put out: “White man looking for Asian woman.” Though she is Chinese, she was living in Boston at the time. “I’m 56. She’s 12 years younger than me,” Tommy revealed. “I got no game.”

Tommy’s Facebook profile lists his profession as “radio personality,” which he rationalized since he gets on the air as a caller. Howard thought he might be “as whacked out as Bobo.” More interestingly, though, his profile also revealed that Tommy got married in 2008 and is now “single.”

“Irreconcilable differences,” Tommy offered in explanation. Though he was coy about it, it would seem that Tommy and his wife are continuing to live together until her daughter graduates from high school. They sleep in the same bed, but by Tommy’s account that’s all they do.

The Massachusetts resident explained that, while he expected her to do things like the dishes and housework, “those stereotypes are totally wrong,” and she refused. Tommy is now looking for a new romantic partner to spend his life with.

Joey Boots also called in while Tommy was on the line and told Howard that he went to visit him in Boston once and Tommy’s place was “gross.” Moreover, Joey said that he won’t hang out with Tommy anymore because he allegedly says racist things.

“I’m fighting back against political correctness,” Tommy said.