The day will come when Howard decides to hang it up and retire from radio, leaving his current staff to seek jobs elsewhere. With that in mind, JD Harmeyer was scheduled to meet with an HR rep in order to practice his interviewing skills.
It did not go well.
JD told Howard on Wednesday morning that he was trying to do his best during his sit-down with Hannah, a Human Resources Director for a Fortune 500 company, but admitted he screwed up since he knew the audio was being recorded for the show.
"I just know what angles people are looking for," JD said.
As soon as Hannah asked JD to tell her a little about himself, he immediately began stammering and giggling uncontrollably. He then answered: "I'm a nice person. I can be shy with people I don't know very well."
"If someone's looking for a giggler, you've got the job," Howard said after hearing the first clip of JD's mock interview. JD's next question was what he would change about his current job if he could. JD replied that he wasn't sure he should answer that, since there was now "more paperwork involved" with his position that he wasn't comfortable with.
Howard had no idea what paperwork JD was referring to.
"I thought maybe the paper he unwraps his Filet-O-Fish from," Howard joked.
The paperwork JD was talking about was the log he keeps of clips he pulls for the show, which surprised Howard, who didn't understand why that would bother him.
The mock interview continued with Hannah asking JD what his biggest weakness was. Before Howard could play the audio, Robin remarked, "Haven't we already uncovered that?" correctly guessing that JD would say his weakness was communication.
"I'm shy, I keep to myself a lot, I'm not very social, but, you know, I try here and there," JD told Hannah.
Then came that part of the interview that Howard considered to be the most shocking moment: If JD were a brand, what would his motto be?
"Set the bar low so they're always impressed," JD said, adding, "I'm not looking to be a brand or have a motto."
"I'm worried about you. You're my boy," Howard told JD. JD explained that he's not very good at talking positively about himself, though he struggled to use proper English during his explanation.
"Maybe Spanish is your thing," Howard told him.
The HR rep became concerned by JD's answers and stopped their interview to ask him if everything was okay. JD told her that he often gets nervous and regularly rocks back in forth when he's uncomfortable.
"Nothing like doing an interview with someone rocking back and forth," Howard said.
Finally, JD was asked what salary he deserves for the job he currently has. He was unable to come up with an actual amount of money, replying "I just want what any other person would get." He told Howard that the reason he had trouble answering that question was because he didn't want to indicate how much money he actually makes and have it be broadcast on the show.
Immediately after his interview, JD was asked by Wolfie, who organized this bit, how he thought he did with Hannah. He gave himself a 5 or a 6 out of 10.
"Who is he kidding?" Howard said.
Wolfie also asked Hannah how she felt JD did, to which she answered that she considers Mr. Harmeyer to "clearly be a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."
While Howard was wrapping up his discussion of JD's interview, he revealed there was some tape that he decided not to play out of respect for JD. But before this segment ended, JD correctly assumed the piece of tape Howard cut out had to do with his breath, which Hannah reportedly said was not very fresh when she met with him.
"What's going on, I thought we talked about this?" Howard asked JD, who then confessed that he hasn't visited the dentist in over a year.
"This segment was supposed to be funny but it got depressing," Howard said. JD got on the mic and informed him not to worry: There was plenty of laughing going on in the back office.