Michael Rapaport & Stern Show Staffers Debate on Playing ‘Dick or Sausage?’ Game

“I was actually specifically asking to not do this,” Mike Trainor complains of Cocktober Stunt

October 18, 2023

Cocktober might be more than halfway over but there’s still a big question mark on one of the proposed bits to commemorate the annual celebration, Dick or Sausage?

The premise of the game is Stern Show staffers will have to touch and decipher between sausages and the penises of Sal Governale and Richard Christy. “I’m all for that,” Richard said enthusiastically on Wednesday. “They better be mini sausages — we [don’t have] big sausages in our pants.”

Other staffers were less agreeable. When Mike Trainor wondered during the day’s morning meeting who would be doing the touching, one name came to Howard’s mind — Mike Trainor.

“I was actually specifically asking to not do this,” the staffer responded. “I don’t think the audience wants me to grab dicks … I’m going to be quieter in future meetings.”

After some peer pressure, JD Harmeyer did everything he could to get out of the game. “I would flick the hell out of it,” he said of how he would approach touching his colleagues’ penises. “You want me to play this game so [badly], that’s how I’m playing it.”

Executive producer Gary Dell’Abate at first declined to participate until he discovered he’d only have to touch, not show. “If JD and Trainor will do it, I will do it as well,” he announced before turning to Mike. “Come on, grab a cock.”

“If Gary’s gonna do it, I’ll fucking do it,” JD finally agreed.

All the game needed now was a celebrity judge. Who better to lend a helping hand than recent “Masked Singer” pickle and two-time Cocktober participant Michael Rapaport. Despite Howard asking him to join in on the fun, Rapaport didn’t seem too keen on the idea. “That ain’t never happening,” he said over the phone. “I’m shocked Gary’s willing to work this hard.”

“This is what separates the men from the boys,” Gary said of his frequent adversary. “He wants all the accolades, but he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty.”