Richard’s Sticky Valentine

February 15, 2005
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

In a stunning revelation, resident perv Richard Christy confessed to braking his “no pleasuring himself during the work week” rule last night. Christy described a “perfect storm” scenario of having to make copies of one of Gary’s special porn tapes, looking at the new issue of Penthouse for an upcoming guest, and the fact that yesterday was Valentine’s Day as the “extenuating circumstances” for the break down. Christy said that the “special tape” – a lesbian porn tape a fan sent in years ago of two, probably amateur, girls going at it – was the straw that broke this camel’s back though. He said he couldn’t get through five minutes of it without taking his right hand out on a date. He also had another DVD he was making a copy of for Gary of the “Fun Sisters,” two lesbian sisters. Christy said he did it about four or five times last night in a span of about three hours and described as the best Valentine’s Day he’s ever had! Howard said that he loves how upbeat and positive Richard is about masturbation and suggested he be a spokesperson for the cause because so many people are embarrassed by it. Artie suggested Richard could speak at corporations about this. To prove his point, Artie, doing his best Southern Richard Christy impression, said “What I’m trying to do here is present an option to rape.”