Elephant Boy in Love

May 27, 2005

In positive news – Fred the Elephant Boy came by the studio today to announce he’s gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend, Mary. Mary was with him to share in the joyous news. Mary said that they had a long distance relationship going for awhile and it was tough, which was one of the reasons they broke up. But now that her kid is older she feels that maybe they can make it work this time. Mary and Elephant Boy used to have phone sex when they were dating the first time. Howard laughed and said he would have loved to have heard that. He tried to reenact it himself and it was pretty funny. Another reason they broke up, Mary said, was because Fred was into bisexual sex and Mary wasn’t into that at all. One time when Fred went out to visit her he brought a guy with him and did gay stuff in front of her. She said Fred used his mouth on the guy and then the guy shaved him in the shower while Mary watched. Mary said all that stuff freaked her out and Fred has to knock the gay stuff off if he wants their relationship to work. Fred said he wasn’t sure if that happened the way Mary said it did and thinks it was a miscommunication between the two of them. Howard thought that made sense since Elephant Boy has a severe speech impediment. Mary said she was also freaked out that Fred visited weird websites where girls are whipped by other girls. Plus, he appeaed in videos dressed like the girls and the whole thing freaked Mary out so much she had to break up with him. Elephant Boy said, in his defense she also had problems that led to their break up.