Probing Howard

June 10, 2005

Howard played a clip from one of those sex-ed tapes from school. This one dealt with a boy talking to his father about the insecurities he had over his penis size. The father calmly explained to his son that his penis will probably grow but that penis size doesn’t make a difference in what kind of man you are or not anyway. Howard said that’s so nice, a nice, calm father.

Robin thought Howard once talked to his dad about his small penis but Howard said he hadn’t. His dad did check him for a hernia once though so he saw his small wiener. The whole thing was pretty embarrassing. Robin said that Howard’s family did some weird stuff with him, with his father checking him for hernia and his mom checking his rectal temperature. Howard said the one person he did let look at his penis growing up was his good friend Dr. Lou Weinstein. Dr. Lou was one of those guys who matured early and was growing body hair way before Howard. Howard asked Lou to check his wiener because he thought it was too small and Lou looked at it, winced, and then told Howard not to worry about it, it would grow. Howard said that calmed him down for about an hour. Robin said Howard didn’t have to worry about it because the video said that he’s a man regardless of his penis size. Howard said that was such a lie, penis size matters so much to men. Being small is a real pain. Robin said there are ways to deal with that. Howard said yeah, get real rich.