Artie Fails to Fail a Physical

June 16, 2005

Howard opened the show commenting that Artie’s professional shave was still looking good a day later.

Artie said he thought it was called a three-day shave, so we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see.

Robin said she even touched Artie’s face yesterday and it was baby smooth.

Howard also pointed out that Artie was eating oatmeal this morning! Artie blamed this on the fact that he had to go for an extensive physical exam yesterday in order to get insurance for his movie. Howard thought those kinds of physicals were kind of a joke, just something people did to fulfill some paperwork requirements.

Artie explained that was not the case yesterday because he had to do the full exam, complete with the stress test wired to an EKG machine while on a treadmill. Artie said the most surprising thing was that the doctor told him he was completely normal.

Howard thought the insurance people must be worried that Artie was going to go nuts to put him through all these tests. Howard said when he’s done these kinds of physicals it’s always been “stick out your tongue, you pass.”

Artie joked that his blood and urine test will show a bunch of “anti-looney” meds. Artie said he was no longer into his oatmeal though; he got 3 bites into it and lost interest.

Howard said he liked his oatmeal plain — so plain in fact, that he thought he might like just a bucket of oats with no water.

Robin wanted to know if Artie’s weekends were different now that he’s on medications and Artie said that this coming weekend will be his first, and that everything is new.

Artie said he and Dana have dinner plans this weekend and he has no intention of ordering any alcohol during it.